Hospital Jinks

'You have enough galllstones to start a riot', the doc told me after my 'procedure' last week.

It was fun, of a sort. My fourth encounter with these little cholestral missiles in two years. They block something, I get a pain, fever and jaundice. I go to A and E. They get rid of the pain and do lots of scans. I go home, come back a week later and they take the stones out. But nobody seeems to know what is causing me to be in the quarry business. Theories to fcorr100@gmail please.

Hospital can be depressing, sobering, boring and occasionally fun. Watching the catering staff serve meals is the best. They are on a tight schedule so they tear into the ward, plonk the plate on the tray and are gone again beafore you can blink. One day I failed to notice for 30 minutes that my lunch had arrived- it was hidden neatly behind a curtain.

You get some chat when they arrive with the enormous teapot, like 'More tea ?'

Me: 'That was tasty'
Them :'Sugar?'

The nurses said to eat a healthy diet. 'You are what you eat'.

Then the caterers give me fried chicken, sausages and ice cream for tea.

On the day of the 'procedure' I had to go to another hospital. 'You must have an accompanying relative', they said.

'Why ?'.

'Because we can't send a nurse with you- cutbacks'.

So said 'relative' picks me up at 6.45am. We get to Hospital 2 at 8am and I am in the theatre by 9am. By 11am I am all done and dusted so they call an ambulance to get me back to Hospital 1. By 6pm it asn't turned up and the theatre staff are ready to go home. Eventually they call a cab and a theatre nurse volunteers to accompany me.

I know that I got off lightly and that some patients lie on trolleys  for days on end.

But is this really a Health Service?


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Editor: Frank Corr
fcorr100@gmail.com


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